Financially Naked with Dolores Ganzalez
2024 will be a big year for me personally and professionally, but unfortunately, it means the end of new content for Martinis and Your Money in October. My plan for this final season is to highlight a new financial topic each month. This month, I'm talking about relationships and money. It's estimated that money problems lead to 20-40% of divorces and from my seat as a financial planner for over the last 12 years, I can tell you that those numbers are accurate.
This month, we're going to talk about the pitfalls money can have on relationships and the solutions to building a financially healthy and safe foundation for two people to navigate. Last week, I spoke with Tracy Coenen about financial infidelity, and this week, I'm talking to podcast listener and Financial Gym client Dolores about her personal experience with financial infidelity. Dolores joins me to share how she hid tens of thousands of dollars of debt from her partner and why their relationship is stronger than ever despite the infidelity.
What are we drinking?
Dolores - Water and a protein packet
Shannon - Black Cherry Schweppes
Podcast Notes
Financial Frustration and Secrets
Dolores has been a podcast listener for a while, finding inspiration and ideas through the show. She learned how to negotiate for a higher raise at her job and has worked a number of side hustles.
Despite the raises, Delores was still feeling unfulfilled and experiencing lifestyle creep. Her marriage felt strained, and she wished things were different. She was earning more than her spouse and felt like she could make decisions without him.
They got a family credit card, and their spending started to increase. She added the children as authorized users to the card without telling her husband, which exacerbated the situation.
The kids were spending money on the card, and as the debt continued to build up, Dolores did not tell her husband. She took out a 401k loan to pay off the debt and hoped she could fix it on her own. The cycle continued even after paying it down, and the debt grew again. That's when she decided to join The Financial Gym.
Moving Forward: Healing & Growth
Financial infidelity can lead to divorce. The longer you keep a secret, the worse it becomes. Being transparent is the first step you must take if you've been keeping financial secrets. You can't start to heal until you've had the conversation.
Dolores told her husband after they'd had a fun day together. She was scared to have the conversation but knew she had to be honest. Once she told him, he was understandably upset and angry with her.
Being transparent at all stages of the relationship is great, but when you're married, your finances are joint in the eyes of the government. The debt is joint. They have a right to know what's happening.
After the initial hard conversation, her husband has been incredibly supportive. He felt betrayed by the secrets and decisions about the family made without him. It's been six months, and there is already a huge positive difference in their family's financial health and relationship dynamic.
Final Thoughts
Since being honest with her family, Dolores feels much better about her finances and relationship. She is working on setting boundaries with the kids and working together with her husband as a team.
Everything we do financially is fixable. Sometimes, the best life lessons are learned in the most challenging times. Don't let shame or fear keep you from taking action.
You do not have to face challenges alone. Keeping secrets and working solo can feel isolating. Allow the people in your life the opportunity to support you.
The hardest part is the first step. If you're hiding something, get it out there. Show your partner how you're committed to and plan to change in the future.
Takeaway: My biggest takeaway is the importance of transparency and open communication in a relationship. It’s hard to tell the truth, but even harder to keep a secret. If you’re with the right life partner, then no matter how hard it is to tell the truth, they will want to be on your team going forward to fix things.
Random Three Questions
What’s the first fun financial goal you have for yourself?
What is something you are binging?
If this was your last meal on earth, what would it be?
Resources Mentioned:
If you have any topics you would like me to cover on this podcast, or if you’d like to get in the financially naked hot seat, I encourage you to email me at shannon@fingyms.com or join the private Martinis and Your Money Facebook Page, and let me know what you want to hear.
As many of you know, other than running this podcast, I’m the founder and CEO of The Financial Gym, and we are celebrating 10 years of this journey. Now more than ever, I see the importance of the work we do every single day. Rising inflation, the return on student loan debt, high-interest rates on loans and mortgages, and volatile stock markets make it a time where, now more than ever, you need a best financial friend to help you make the best choices along the way.
At Financial Gym, you get paired with a Certified Financial Trainer, who we call your BFF. Our team has coached clients through every financial season, whether they were living paycheck to paycheck or headed into Financial Independence and Retirement. As a reminder, we work with individuals, couples, or business owners.
The exciting news of 2024 is that Financial Gym now has a sister company, FG Advisory Services, available for people looking for more traditional financial advisory services like asset management delivered by a team that looks and behaves nothing like a traditional financial advisory services company. We literally have a solution for you, no matter where you’re starting from. So what are you waiting for? Head over to or send friends to financialgym.com to get started today. Our warm-up calls are free of cost and judgment, so you have nothing to lose.