Top 10 Ten Fears I Have Overcome
"...the only thing we have to fear...is fear itself..." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
This week I have been speaking about fears as far as investing is concerned, and investing my own money was a fear that I used to claim. I thought that I would use my Top Ten this Friday to share other fears that I have overcome. I have to be honest and say that I have plenty more fears left to conquer, but I feel as though life is an evolution and when we make progress, we should celebrate it, to help us continue with the hard work of becoming something better. So here are some fears I have bested thus far in my almost 36 years of life:1) Death – I lost a beloved aunt when I was in the fourth grade, and her death had a profound impact on my life. I feared losing everyone that I loved to the point that I was almost paralyzed by it. Then I met my hubby. He is a physics teacher (i.e. a real big nerd) and on one of our early dates (because he is a real big nerd) we discussed the universe and life on Earth. We talked about how the energy that existed when the Earth was created is still in existence, so even when our energy passes, we are somewhere here still as are those we loved. The title of this lecture in his class is “The Law of Conservation of Energy – Were You Once a Tree?” For some reason, I found this comforting and still do. Recently I read a great book by a Buddhist monk that described death as natural as living and his discussion of the topic solidified my acceptance of it. I do not want to lose anyone else that I love, but I now understand and accept it as part of living.
2) Public Speaking – I was PAINFULLY shy when I was younger. I was a nerd, like my hubby, I wore big glasses, I had awkward hair and I went through puberty far ahead of the rest of my friends. When I was in 6th grade, I participated in a summer day camp in my town and there was an amazing woman who led the drama portion of the day. She taught me to sing, dance, emote and find confidence in performance. It is because of her that I developed a love for theater and acting which has brought me great joy in my life. And it was through acting in front of crowds that I kicked my fear of public speaking. Now whenever I speak in front of groups, I just think of myself as a “character” in a play.
3) Riding a roller coaster – I have never been a fan of roller coasters, but my hubby is, and when we lived in Florida (pre kid), we decided to go to Disney World with friends. We had a great time, and during this trip, I even joined the group on a few roller coasters. I would only go on the ones that I could see and understand how they worked. I refused to go on Space Mountain or Tower of Terror because they were dark, and I didn’t feel prepared for the experience. I have to note, though, that even though I overcame this fear, I still don’t love roller coasters and try to avoid them as much as possible.
4) Childbirth – In 8th grade we watched the Miracle of Life video in health class, and the final scene of the child coming out of the mom ruined me for most of my life. Even when I was pregnant with my son and we were in birthing class, I refused to watch the video. Truthfully, even up until the minute my son was born, I had to do a lot of mental exercises in my head to not get the vision of that movie in my mind and prevent me from doing the work I had to do. Having gone through the experience, alleviated me of my fear, and actually made me feel more powerful at the end. But I still never want to see the Miracle of Life again.
5) Shaving my legs – I was really freaked out by this whole concept. I had a number of friends who started doing it at an early age, and even though they said it wasn’t bad, the cuts on their legs told me a whole other story. I think it was a particularly mean child in middle school who made fun of my hairy legs that drove me to overcome this fear. I don't love the process, but I am certainly not afraid of it anymore.
6) Eating an oyster – These grey, slimy things must be some of the most unappealing foods to eat, and honestly they still freak me out to look at them, but one time I was out with friends, drinking beers and they were eating oysters and seemed to be enjoying the experience, so I decided to take the plunge. Not sure if it was the beers or the ton of horseradish I put on the oyster, but I actually thought it was not bad. Now I enjoy them and my hubby has even found a way to make them on the grill at home (the heat from the grill opens the shells for you) and they are fantastic.
7) Starting my own business – I have had a number of ideas for businesses throughout my adult life. I even tried to start a side hustle about 9 years ago, but then got pregnant with my son and couldn’t commit the time required to make it successful. The vision for my company NextGen Financial came clear to me early last year, and I just couldn’t shake the fact that it was what I was meant to do. Everyone that I knew was scared for me and wondered if I lost my mind. I am now six months into this scary adventure, and I have to say, it was the greatest decision I ever made. I am helping people achieve their hopes and dreams by helping them become financially fit, and my clients inspire me as much as I inspire them every day.
8) Being seen in public in a bikini – I am like most women, I developed a complex about my body when I was in 4th grade, and I not felt comfortable with my body since. Aside from body confidence issues, though, I am Irish and my skin color is as white as freshly fallen snow. My friends joke that I am so white that I am translucent. So even if I did feel good about my body, I would never want people to have to see that much white while they were enjoying their sunbathing. My hubby (then fiancé) finally told me that I had to wear a bikini on our honeymoon. Let me tell you, it is amazing what being young and in love will make you do. So yes, I wore a bikini while we were on our honeymoon and I could be found either under an umbrella poolside or under the cover of the swim up pool bar the entire time we were in Antigua.
9) Being eaten by a shark – I think that anyone who has ever seen the movie Jaws or recently Sharknado has developed this fear. As a result, I typically steered clear from ocean water and stayed close to a pool. It wasn’t until the Discovery Channel started Shark Week, and I became more educated on sharks that the fear of being eaten by one diminished. I don’t plan to go snorkeling off the coast of South Africa any time soon, but I don’t worry as much when I am in other waters.
10) Failing – As I mentioned earlier, I am a big nerd, and I have been an overachiever since Kindergarten. I have pushed myself academically since I could remember, and until college, the lowest grade I ever saw was a B, and when I saw it, I cried. My mom told me to get a grip and that I was overreacting, but it felt awful. Then I went to college and within the first two months, I got a D on an English paper and an F on a Calculus exam. I literally thought my world was going to come to an end, but after curling into a ball and crying my eyes out on my bunk bed for a few hours, I got myself together, met with the professors and discussed how I was going to move on from the experience. I still don’t like failing, but I have realized that my failures are equally as important to me as my successes and if I know that I will learn from them, then I have nothing to fear.
Image Sources FreeDigitalPhotos.net, FreeDigitalPhotos.net, BestofOrlando.com, Everydayhealth.comWhat about you? Have you overcome any of your fears? How did you do it?