The Money Talk

In this episode of Martinis and Your Money, I am talking to Lori Sackler, a senior vice-president and financial adviser at Morgan Stanley. In 2013, Lori authored the book, The M Word: The Money Talk Every Family Needs to Have About Wealth and Their Financial Future. Now she has released The M Word Journal: How to Have the Money Talk, a guide to use when having the money conversation in your family. Lori and I talk about our experiences working with clients and why we believe having the money talk is so difficult for people to have.I personally love the journal Lori created to help give you a framework for the money talk. She literally gives you a worksheet for just about any money conversation you can have; and I think they are all useful tools.

What are we drinking?

Lori — a cabernet

Shannon — a dirty gin martini

Podcast Notes

  • Both Shannon and Lori spent a period of time at Merrill Lynch.

  • Lori believes the financial industry is very open to women now.

  • She recently interviewed some senior-executive women from around the country to find out what their current challenges were and they discussed how women often prefer women advisors.

  • Lori wrote The M Word after experiencing the challenge of having money conversations herself.

  • The M Word Journal does 3 things:

    • It helps to identify the information people are going to need for the money talk and helps them answer the questions they need to ask.

    • It focuses on how to manage the psychological and emotional impact of the conversation, how to resolve conflict and how to get through it.

    • It emphasizes the importance of having 3rd-party professionals.

  • Lori thinks some typical reasons it is hard for families to have the money talk are:

    • Cultural differences

    • Gender differences

    • Evolutionary instinctual

    • Family history and money personality

  • Money is at the core of everything we do and really guides most of our actions.

  • Having the money talk is like learning a new language.

  • Lori has a 5-step process for getting over having the money talk.

    • Identify the transition point you are going through.

    • Prepare the inner landscape.

    • Prepare the outer landscape.

    • Identify the people who need to be a part of the conversation.

    • Create the process of having the money conversation that works for you.

  • Both Shannon and Lori advise having the money conversation with an unbiased 3rd party which doesn’t necessarily have to be a financial advisor.

  • TAKEAWAY: If you haven’t had the talk about money with your loved ones, there is no better time than the present!

Random Three Questions

  1. What is your favorite book to read?

  2. What is your favorite thing to do in your down time?

  3. What is a bucket list item for you?

Connect With Lori

Website

Do you have a tough time talking about money with your family? How can you make a money talk less intimidating?