Making Changes with the Happy Hour Ladies
Today is the last Friday of the month and my regular listeners know that on the last Friday of the month, I host a happy hour, where I gather great friends with me to drink cheap drinks and talk about money topics. This January, I’ve focused on change on the podcast and today I’m talking to my happy hour friends about making changes, how comfortable we are with making them and what prevents us from making changes, especially when we know we need to. As usual, we had a lot of fun.
What are we drinking?
Melanie from Dear Debt — Water
Tonya from Budget and the Beach — Vodka
Liz, Mrs. Frugalwoods, from Frugalwoods.com — Hot Cocoa
Shannon — Vodka
Podcast Notes
Liz will not be able to attend next month’s happy hour, and Shannon said they should auction off her spot to raise money for a give back fund. This fund would be used to help clients who are struggling.
Shannon has a client who had more than $30,000 in debt when they started working together and by the third quarter review saved $10,000 and paid off $7,000. Her client had an abortion a year ago, because of her finances, and that was the trigger to make a change.
Shannon asked do you need extreme things to happen to make a change in your life? How do you handle change?
Liz says she has evolved in her change-making process. Ten years ago she spent a long time deliberating, where now she makes a decision to change more quickly. That happened because they were unfulfilled and unhappy, prior to making the decision of moving to the homestead.
Melanie said she tends to hit rock bottom before making a big change. When she was in debt, it helped her to write out what she was going through on her blog. Last year, she hit a low point and she is now making changes with her physical and mental health. We are built to crave comfort and routine, and making a change is like rewiring our brain.
Tonya said one of her favorite quotes is “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t” - Hama Tuma. If she is struggling with a situation, she debates whether it needs to change or whether she is being ungrateful. It is the risk of not knowing what is on the other side of that change. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got” - Tony Robbins. How long are you willing to put up with the situation that isn’t making you happy, before you make that change? Sometimes you need that big event to help you make a change.
Shannon said she has never been scared of changes. She has fears, but not about change. She has always trusted her gut and makes a decision.
Shannon asked what are you afraid of?
Tonya said not having enough money.
Liz said each decision compounds and lets you know that it is okay to make these changes. The worst that can happen is not that bad. “All the immediate unknowns are better than knowing this tired and lonely fate” - Rilo Kiley. You don’t know what the other side is like. Being in a good financial position makes big decisions easier to make.
Tonya asked what about a person who is not in a great financial situation? Should they wait to make a change until they are in a better place financially?
Shannon said there is a reason why you feel the need to make a change. “I’m in the gap between the two trapeze” - Coldplay. To move forward you have to let go. The middle is a scary place to be, but what’s the safety net? Shannon’s safety net is her faith. God is her net.
You only get one shot in life. It is important to live without regrets. Shannon’s search results on change quotes:
“Life is not a dress rehearsal”
”Be the change you wish to see in the world”
”Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself”
”Things change and friends leave; life doesn’t stop for anybody”
Financial health gives you so much freedom for change. It gives you a safety net to make change less scary. Change is like a muscle. It gets easier to make changes the more you flex that muscle.
It is more challenging to make changes as you get older. You have more at stake. There are other attachments to consider. On the flip side, as you make changes, you realize how resilient you are.
Liz and her husband have a philosophy where you cannot complain about stuff unless you make actionable change. Do something or don’t talk about it. Or decide it isn’t a big deal and take your focus off it.
“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” - Andy Warhol. Sometimes maybe the way you are viewing your situation is the problem. Are you being ungrateful? Is it just in your head? “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which are true” - Mark Twain.
“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change” - Taylor Swift
Don’t let yourself get to a place where you need to make a regretful decision because of your finances. Start living your best life today.
Accept that change is scary and hard, but sometimes it is really worth it. You can pick yourself back up if it doesn’t work out.
TAKEAWAY: Remember that change is like a muscle we have to flex and continuously work on. Change can be scary, but change can also lead you to a better place as I’ve certainly seen in my life. I hope you take the opportunity to make 2018 your year of change and don’t be afraid to flex those important change muscles you have in you.We sort of joked about it in the show, but we will need a replacement next month for Mrs. Frugalwoods during the happy hour segment. If you’re available at 9pm EST on Monday, February 19, drop me a note in the Facebook group and let me know why you’d make a great addition to the happy hour and what you may want to drink with us.If you have any topics you would like for us to talk about during happy hour, please feel free to email me at shannon@finblonde.com or tweet to me at blonde_finance or join the private martinis and your money facebook group and let us know. Until next time, take care!!