Managing the Haters with the Happy Hour Ladies
Today is the last Friday of the month and my regular listeners know that on the last Friday of the month, I host a happy hour, where I gather great friends with me to drink cheap drinks and talk about money topics. Most of us are on journeys to achieve big things in life whether it’s paying off debt, saving for something big like early retirement or small like a puppy or making career and life changes and all of these journeys require focus and positivity; however, sometimes we get challenged along the way.Today the ladies and I are talking about haters and how they can threaten to sidetrack our journeys or block them entirely. We’re going to discuss the haters in our lives, how we manage them and how we don’t let them stop us from what matters most. I’m excited to share with you that Liz is back at the happy hour table with us today. I am grateful for our guests but so happy to have the gang back together.
What are we drinking?
Melanie from Dear Debt — Rosé
Tonya from Budget and the Beach — Chardonnay
Liz, Mrs. Frugalwoods, from Frugalwoods.com — Boxed Malbec
Shannon — Hob Nob Pinot Noir
Podcast Notes
Shannon got the idea for this episode from Tonya, because Tonya mentioned she shared an idea of something she wanted to do, and someone quickly dismissed it.
Liz has her book for sale on Amazon and has some haters. You will not be able to do work that pleases everyone. If you are doing work that is meaningful and that challenges people to question their assumptions and the way they are living, it is going to make people angry. When you do work like that, you should inspire those emotions. You can either sit back or you can be bold.
Shannon read through some of the one-star reviews for Liz’s book. What do you want to be known for and where do you want to focus your energy - writing a book or writing nasty reviews? We all need to live true to what we believe. Liz hopes people will take away what they need from the book. People make up their own minds and you aren’t going to change that.
Tonya tries to shake off the haters. She gets a lot of opinions from her dad, who is not involved in her daily life - just the highlights and lowlights.
Tonya watched the new Cobra Kai Karate Kid trailer on YouTube Red, and made a comment about how bad it was. She got slammed for posting it. Being online makes it okay to post whatever you want, when you may or may not say it to the person’s face.
Usually negative comments are more of a reflection of the person saying it - insecurities, etc.
If you have friends who constantly question your decisions, are discouraging, or are negative, maybe it’s time to find new friends. Be aware of the energy you are bringing into a room as well as the energy of the people around you. What if the negative energy is from your family? Recognize the impact they are having on your life. It is difficult when it is family, close friends, or significant others.
Melanie has some online haters and a few in-person as well. As a blogger, you have a higher opportunity of haters. She experienced this when she had an article on Business Insider go semi-viral about how she paid off her debt. Some of the comments denounced everything she accomplished. What other people think of you is not your business. Melanie minimizes time with family members that may impact her in a negative way.
Shannon had the most haters when she appeared on the Financial Diet’s YouTube channel. She was letting people who didn’t know her make a judgment about her on a three-minute video. She had to let go of the negativity and tried to find the constructive criticism instead of the destruction.
There are a lot of angry people online writing long drawn out comments and they always want the last word. Inevitably, someone posts the GIF of Michael Jackson eating popcorn.
No one should be telling you how to live your life or influence you in a way where you don’t do what you want to do. Nobody else is living your life.
How do you overcome it so you don’t let the haters control your life?
Liz: Question who you surround yourself with. Be around positive people who are doing positive things. Find ways to always be creating. If you appeal to everyone, you will not speak loudly enough to the people that it matters the most. Your target demographic is not going to be everyone.
Shannon: Surround yourself with constructive people, not yes people, but people who are encouraging, not destructive. The best defense to the haters offense is knowing yourself.
Tonya: You can disagree or challenge someone’s idea without being a hater. Dr. Phil, Life Strategies: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? If you are going to read comments about yourself, make sure you are in the right space for it.
Melanie: It’s important to focus on ourselves and what we are doing. Know yourself. Don’t read the comments and limit your time spent with Debbie Downers.
Play some Taylor Swift and shake it off, Frozen and let it go, or Matthew Wilder and break my stride. Don’t let the haters keep you down - keep pursuing your dreams and live your best life.
TAKEAWAY: My biggest takeaway is literally the immortal words of Ms. Taylor Swift. Haters are going to hate hate hate. No matter where you are in life and what you’re trying to achieve, they will always be out there and it’s up to you to shake them off and continue to push forward with your hopes and dreams. It’s your life and purpose and don’t let any haters keep you from achieving it.If you have any topics you would like for us to talk about during happy hour, please feel free to email me at shannon@finblonde.com or tweet to me at blonde_finance or join the private martinis and your money facebook group and let us know. Until next time, take care!!