Kids & Parenting with The Happy Hour Crew
On the last Friday of the month, I host the Happy Hour on the podcast, where I gather great friends to drink cheap drinks and talk about money topics. This episode is the second Happy Hour of the final year of Martinis and Your Money. I've spent most of this month talking about kids and finances in honor of my son Will's 18th birthday.
For Happy Hour, we discussed the kid strategy that I see more and more people taking, and that's the choice not to have children. My friends join me to share their personal experiences, whether it was to deliberately not have children or what conflicts they've felt on the path to deciding whether or not having a family is right for them.
What are we drinking?
Melanie - Ginger Tea
Colin - Espresso martini
Alicia - Titos and seltzer with lemon
Shannon - Bota Box Nighthawk
Podcast Notes
The Pressures of Family Planning
This month is all about kids in honor of Will turning 18. After ten years, he returned to the show. Half of the happy hour crew has children, while the other half are child-free. At The Financial Gym, more clients are intentionally choosing not to have children.
The terms in the personal finance world, 'SINK' and 'DINK,' which stand for 'single income, no kids,' and 'dual income, no kids,' have been coined to represent the group of people intentionally choosing to remain child-free.
Everyone has different reasons behind their decisions, from finances to climate change, overpopulation, generational trauma, and genetic mental health issues. Parenting is a 24/7 job with no breaks that never ends. Some people don't want it.
There is so much pressure on people to have kids from many places. You need to think deeply about having a child if you can. It's important to figure out why you want to be a parent. Is it something you truly want? Or a box you feel like you have to check?
The Joys and Finances of Parenthood
Before becoming a parent, Alicia was focused only on her career. She wasn't sure if she wanted to have kids until meeting her husband. Being a mom is one of Alicia's biggest accomplishments.
Watching your children grow is the most rewarding experience. The unconditional love you feel is different from any other feeling. Now that she has experienced it, she can't imagine living without it.
When you become a parent, you must think differently about money management. It takes a village to raise a child. It's becoming less common for people to have full support or a 'built-in' village.
Child care is expensive. The options, especially for younger children, are limited. Hiring someone to help you at home or sending the kids to daycare will cost you a significant amount of money, especially once you have multiple children.
Question 3 - Final Thoughts
Everyone needs to make the best choices for their lives, and you never know what is behind people's decisions. No one comes to the decision flippantly. Don't judge people based on their decision to have kids or not.
Being child-free is not selfish. Everyone deserves respect, whether or not they decide to have children. Never make assumptions about people; if you ask questions, come from a place of love and curiosity.
Parents are whole humans with other interests, hopes, and goals. In conversation, parents are often asked about being parents but not always about the other things going on in their lives.
Always live life on your own timeline. Kids are the monthly subscription you can't cancel. Whatever path you decide, your Financial Gym family supports you!
Takeaway: My biggest takeaway is that the decision to have a child is personal and that no one else should judge or pressure someone else on. I see and respect everyone's decision on what's best for them as far as parenthood is concerned.
Resources Mentioned in the Episode:
CNBC Article: DINK Lifestyle
A Decade Later, Catching up with Will
Connect with Happy Hour Crew
Melanie Lockert: melanielockert.com
Colin Becker: @iwillbecolinyou & colinbecker.com
Alicia Lazarto: CFO of The Financial Gym
Shannon McLay: Founder & CEO of The Financial Gym
If you have any topics you would like me to cover on this podcast, or if you’d like to get in the financially naked hot seat, I encourage you to email me at Shannon@fingyms.com, or join the private Martinis and Your Money Facebook Page, and let me know what you want to hear.
In addition to hosting this show, I’m the founder and CEO of The Financial Gym. We are celebrating 10 years of this journey, and now, more than ever, I see the importance of the work we do every day. Rising inflation, the return of student loan debt, high interest rates on mortgages, and volatile stock markets make it a time when you need a best financial friend to help you make the best choices.
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